Karva chauth Ka Konfusion

4:00 p.m.: “me time”

It’s that time of the day in the afternoon when Meera dedicates a couple of hours in the afternoon to herself. It is her zen time, her chance to connect with herself and do whatever she wants. 

She has spent the entire afternoon supervising the cook in the kitchen and making sure that Akshay (pati dev), Mummy Ji (saasu maa), Papa Ji (sasur jee), and Nisha (sister-in-law) are well fed. Now, they’ve all retreated to their rooms for an afternoon nap and Akshay has gone back to work.  

So, she has decided to watch the new season of House of Cards on Netflix, after a year’s worth of anticipation. The perfectionist in her tells her to meditate for 20 minutes, but instead she gives in to the temptation of seeing Kevin Spacey with guilt and excitement. 

She turns on the AC, takes out new blankets she’s bought from a Jaipurian store in Greater Kailash. She changes into her PJs and slips into the fresh smelling dope from N-Block. As she starts watching the highly anticipated and politically charged House of Cards, her door knocks slightly. Before she can respond or open the door, mummy ji charges in, closing the door behind her and settles on the bed facing Meera, blocking her view of the TV.  

• She says “beta, kya dekh rahi hai? Thodi der soja, aaram kar le”.
• Meera just smiles and replies “it’s a new show on Netflix”, not willing to share her undying love for Kevin Spacey with mummy ji.
• Mummy ji turns around and says – “oh yeh toh Kevin Spacey hai, he is soooo good in this show”.
• Meera is filled with disdain, surprise and frustration and says “Oh you’ve seen House of Cards….”, surprised with her knowledge and opinion of him, but also annoyed with the idea of sharing this love too – like sharing Akshay all the time was not enough.
• Meera says, “mummy ji, how come you haven’t slept. Please sleep, your knees need the rest too” - hoping to finish the conversation as soon as possible.
• Mummy ji says “Meera darling, you’re always so caring and concerned about me. I wanted to talk to you about this year’s Karva chauth next week. Bua ji was thinking of hosting the Karva chauth party at her home this year. We can all head there in the evening and break the fast at her home in Vasant Vihar.”

Meera was filled with anxiety and stress, as it was that time of the year again when she had to prove her credibility as a traditional and obedient daughter-in-law. At a personal level, she had never understood the tradition with it’s obvious sexist rituals – like why do women had to fast for their husband’s long life, and why were their life longer than wives’ life, and why did anyone had to remain hungry for a long life. None of it ever made any logical or poetic sense.

Meera’s own mother was a staunch believer of Karva chauth as a traditional virtue and kept encouraging her to keep this fast, “isse pyar badta hai”. With no validation from her mother or Facebook (friends celebrating it like it’s a day to celebrate women) and "polite" pressure from mummy ji to follow the tradition, she had been keeping the fast for the past three years.

Unfortunately, the Karva chauth discussion with mummy ji sucked all the excitement from House of Cards. Meera felt quiet, pulled in two different directions – the feminist side and the traditional side.   

• Mummy ji continued: “Why don’t you wear the red suit I bought for you last month, you will look so beautiful in it. Make sure it is ironed by then. Okay?” and leaves the room. 

Now, Meera felt even more upset – not only was she obligated to keep the fast, but also had to wear the head-to-toe covered uniform from Karol Bagh that mummy ji called red suit. A new off-shoulder dress similar to what Priyanka Chopra had been flaunting lately, would have made the entire Karva chauth ordeal much easier to pass through.

Without much choice of her own, Meera closed her eyes to meditate for 20 mins, trying to calm her mind from this unnecessary stress. Her “me time” didn’t belong to her anymore -- the annual stress of Karva chauth had taken over….