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India

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I’ve been meaning to write this piece for a long time, but couldn’t articulate it or put it to paper. It’s so hard to describe the role it plays in my life especially as an immigrant in the US. It’s so intangible and much more than the physical landscape or validation of our collective identities. It’s a feeling, an ‘ahsaas’ that stays regardless of where we stay or travel. It’s a feeling of pride : When a non-Indian colleague asks me ‘where are you from?’. I say ‘India’ as a matter of fact, but with an inherent smile every single time. I feel like bragging about it like a parent does for their ‘topper’ child. In return, people sometimes try to cover up their personal opinions of India related to poverty, heat, pollution etc. Other times they express their excitement for ‘exoticness’ of India, appreciating its strong heritage and culture. In either way, my sense of pride never flickers. It stays, permanently with me, all the time.   It’s a feeling of never g

Nani

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Saw the movie October recently and it felt so very close to my heart. I was speechless and choked with emotions, reminiscing a time that was life altering for me and my family. The movie brought back moments from the time my Nani was fighting brain tumor. I was 27 years old and had just returned from New York to spend time with her. It was almost after a year that I was meeting her. When I entered my home, my mom woke her up and helped her to sit on the bed so we could meet properly. She’d lost her voice and memory partially – implying the possibility that she may not remember me. I was raised by my Nani most of my life and we shared an unspoken yet deeply connected bond. I was sub-consciously terrified and in complete denial that she may have forgotten me. But once she opened her eyes and became fully aware, her eyes sparkled and lips twitched with excitement, as she whispered my name. I felt utmost relieved, hopeful and grateful. Some things would always remain outside cancer’s c

Growing up with Grandparents

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On Friday, January 26 th – it’s Republic Day, a day to celebrate our Independence and watch the parade near Rashtrapati Bhavan. But for me and my family, it’s also a day to celebrate wedding anniversary of my Nana Nani – my maternal grandparents. My childhood and teenage years include many memories with them, as I was raised by them after the age of 11. My mom, brother and I moved in with them after my mom’s separation. For those who’ve lived with grandparents would agree that it requires a different mindset and set of habits than living with parents only. Due to a large generational gap, you can’t share everything with them like you can with your parents – they’re emotionally distant from you in that sense. But, they bring so much warmth and unconditional love in your life, borne from their age and lesser need to control compared to your parents. My Nani, Kamla Devi was a Guru Nanak devotee and visited the Nanak Piao Gurudwara every day to serve and pray. It was her mor

Kangana Ranaut: The Truth About Brutal Frankness

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I was visiting Utah over the Labor Day long weekend, enjoying my time at a peaceful Airbnb when my mom told me about Kangana Ranaut’s interview on Aap Ki Adalat.  Living far away, she was my window into Indian entertainment and a source of cultural connection, especially at moments when I couldn't resonate with American entertainment.  Here's the link if you haven't seen the video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3wHgadR3Y8&t=2592s I started to watch her interview with Rajat Sharma...and OH BOY, she was admirable beyond words. I was hooked for the next two hours as she revealed dirty truths about the Bollywood industry and nepotistic realities of dynasty film culture.  Her honest account of her relationship with Hrithik Roshan was like naked truth - bare, powerful and open to judgement. It was courageous in the sense that she wasn't scared of being judged at all -- by the public, her family or Bollywood community. Which i

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