To Care with No Boundaries

On this last trip, I was fortunate to spend a lot time with my mom and masis after a very long time. 

Living in two different countries, the distance in our everyday brings sub-conscious distance in our relationships. While my mom and I talk almost every day to keep a track of what’s going on, it lacks emotional depth that comes with just being there. I can’t be there if she needs help with a new app on her phone and she can’t be there to guide me with my work problems. So is the case with all my Masis - one of their children live far away in Singapore, Stockholm or New York. 

But, it's quite dormant -- we've developed natural coping strategies to deal with it. Knowing we can't do anything about the distance, our moms have learnt to camouflage their protective instincts toward us. Because on one hand, they're extremely proud of our abilities to deal with life on our own. But on the other, they wish we hadn't become so individualistic. Because they gave up their career aspirations and a sense of identity to raise us.  

My youngest masi, Poonam Masi completed Masters in Economics from Delhi University. I think she would have been a great economic strategist with prowess to retain large amounts of information. 

My mom studied Political Science from Delhi University. She is an experienced teacher, but has a natural creative instinct to spot beauty around her. 

Kanta Masi is the eldest sister and got married when she was 19. She is a gifted connector with a sensitive heart, knowing well how to uplift others. 

Manju Masi studied English from Delhi University. She possess supreme precision and architectural skills that can build homes and infrastructures. 

My Mom and Masis represent a large population of mothers who gave up their identities to raise us. As part of a cultural norm, they prioritized family over their own aspirations so we didn't had to give up anything. And so often, we tend to forget that unfortunately. 

We tend to forget that they taught us how to make decisions in the first place -- how to feel confident in whatever we do. They helped to shape our tastes in fashion, movies and other interests. Most importantly, they showed us how to care, love, and give back to the society. And even today if we get sick, they will cancel everything else to just be there wholeheartedly - with anxiety, stress, protective instincts and a whole lot of love. Indian moms are gifted with abundant power to care.

At 34, as I try to find my own path living in two different cultures - I feel certain about one thing. I hope to be as caring and kind as they are - not just for myself and my children, but toward the society around me. My identity would be sourly incomplete if I didn't learn how to care blindly like they do.