The Allure of Glamour.....And Need to Belong

Recently, I received an interview call by a San Francisco based skincare brand to potentially join their research and brand strategy team. On the onset, I looked at the job very practically, trying to align my skills with how I could contribute to the firm. Everything was going rather smoothly and quickly, until I was asked to research the skincare category for my last and final round.

My research included a visit to Sephora in the Marina district of San Francisco.

As I walked across different aisles studying skincare products and women in those aisles, I couldn’t help but feel less as a person, not having used one single product displayed there. Looking around, every woman in the store was predominantly white wearing Lulu Lemon or Athletica with a flawless skin. Looking at them and the number of products available, I felt terribly embarrassed of not having taken care of my skin like I should in my 30s. Perhaps I should have used skin enhancing products to tighten my skin or serums to hydrate it better.

When I walked out of the store, a group of white women and a host of skincare products had successfully made me feel terrible about my skincare regimen, which is solely consistent of basic face-washing and moisturizing, with minor makeup. Among my Indian friends and family, I was used to feeling very confident about the way I looked but I felt like a loser compared to my American counterparts.

As a result, I became emotionally invested in the skincare job, hoping it would help me take better care of my skin and enable me to feel like I belonged. I prepared and prepared until I was exhausted. Suddenly, the job had become much more than a job – it was a social enabler connecting me with the culture here. It would also help me fit into the crowd of Sephora-going women in Marina.

After a few days, I went for my interview and felt a pressure to perform, which was totally self-induced. Typically, I would be very confident with a clear understanding of what I will bring to the table without being desperate. Unfortunately, I’d lost that strong sense of myself when I walked into Sephora.

After my interviews, I felt disappointed and unhappy with how desperate I felt for a job and how much I desired those free products (as a perk). And how much I’d succumbed to the pressure and allure of a perfect woman in the West – who looked good and glamorous, spoke eloquently, felt confident and worked-out frequently.

While I might still get the job, the realization was a real eye-opener for me. It reminded me that I had to view the job as rationally as possible, because it just a job and not a reason to brag. As soon as it stuck me, I went for a facial to take care of my skin like I would normally do and remove any emotions out of the job equation.  

And most significantly, the experience reminded me that I had to remain true to myself. The color and texture of skin doesn’t make anyone less or more. I would never look like white women in Sephora. And, it was alright because my color had its own pride and heritage. And with that…I could still belong...by bringing my unique identity to the game.